Walking is very quickly becoming Little One's primary mode of locomotion. Which is magical and wonderful and exciting and he even has shoes now with pandas on them.
He's engaging with so much more now. Watching Sesame Street with me, reading books together, putting objects inside other objects, and really listening to what I say. I am starting to feel like we can communicate with each other. He's not the only one becoming more engaged. I recently started seeing a new psychiatrist and she switched me to a new medication, Latuda. The first few days after the change were a depressive hell. But then it started to lift. And the difference is striking. It's not that the meds make me happy. It's that they make me not depressed and not manic. And that means I have energy and motivation and sensible mind to do things again. Energy to do things that make me happy. Things that make me feel better. Because medication is only part of my treatment plan. I like to think of it as the sort of foundation on which the rest of my treatment sits, because without it, its so much harder to tackle the other parts. (I know, because I tried for years) My 6 Part Mad-woman Treatment Plan Part 1 - Medication Management & Therapy. To help me stay "not depressed" as much as possible and prevent dangerous manic episodes. Therapy helps me quiet my 'always-on' brain by talking things out in a safe space. It helps me become aware of the patterns my mind uses, how they can trick me, and how I can change them. Part 2 - Cover the Basics. Holding myself to a certain standard of living and responsibility. E.g. basic hygiene and self-care, walking to the mailbox, being a 'good enough' mum, and following through on commitments as much as possible. This is the answer to the question "What is the least energy-consuming amount that I can do at my lowest so that I don't feel worse about myself?" Its the first step in undoing the spiral. It's saying 'I may feel like crap but at least I can cover these basics, so I can't be all bad'. Part 3 - A joyful tidy home. I am a big believer in the KonMari method and believe that tidiness is the key to keeping a home that makes you happy. So I have worked hard to declutter and ensure that everything has a place and can easily be cleaned up, making it easy to keep in a state that brings joy instead of stress. Undoing that spiral just a little more. Part 4 - Compassionate Yoga Practice. Yoga tends to my body and to my mind. When I feel well enough to practice, I know it will do me a world of good. Yoga with Adriene is my queen and savior. She and the kula have had my back for a long time and I am immensely grateful to them. If that sounds like gibberish to you, then you're not in the club. But don't think I'm excluding you - check it out here Part 5 - Playful Art Practice. It is immensely hard for me to make art when I am feeling awful and I think that is why it is so important that I make time for it when I am feeling well. Because without it, I start to feel lost and unsure of myself. My art is a way for me to express things that I can't say in words, and I need that tool to feel heard and alive. Part 6 - Exploration. This is about having adventures when I feel good. Breaking the mold. Doing things that get me (and Little One) out of the house and out of my comfort zone. Doing things that make me feel vibrant and interesting and passionate. To feel the metaphorical wind in my hair.
1 Comment
Rachel
11/15/2017 06:41:25 am
These are great! I hope they help you Becca. You can do this!
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Archives |